-First, let's just get this out of the way: From now until the day I die, I agree not to be 'that guy.' Consider this my plea for people to stop saying "Don't be that guy."
- Anyone who agrees with the quote "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger." That's just not true... I think Christopher Reeve would agree with me.
- People who update their Facebook or Twitter's in any of the following ways:
* Using the number zero instead of the letter O. "L0VES 0PENING PRESENTS!" There's a reason for the letter o on your keyboard. Please, use it.
* Capitalizing worthless letters. "So BoReD wHaT sHoUlD i Do?!" You could start by Christopher Reeveing yourself.
* People who can't spell words but use them anyways. "That game was rediculous!" Spelling errors are the most annoying to me because it would take two seconds to type the word into Google and get the correct spelling. If you don't know what word I spelled wrong in my example, I'm talking about you.
* People who say "I should of" instead of "I should have." Too many people above the age of ten make this mistake.
- 8 AM Classes.
- Tim Greenfield's political leanings.
- The guy who goes to the bar in his college baseball sweatshirt, even though he actually got cut and isn't on the team. Does he really think girls are going to want to go home with him because he's on the baseball team? Come on... I love baseball, but if you're going to pretend like you're good at something, make it a sport most girls actually enjoy.
- Guys in New York who look like Bowers from Little Big League and say the comedy club allows underage drinking just to get three 19-year-olds to buy tickets from him. If you're ever in Times Square and you see a Bowers look-a-like selling tickets for a comedy show, please kick him square in the nuts for me.
- Girls who ask my best guy friends for information they obviously aren't going to give away. If I won't tell you, then neither will they. They also won't tell your friends.
- The double standard that applies to ugly men and attractive ones. Be honest girls... when an ugly guy hits on you while you're out, you tell people you were hit on by 'some creep.' If a good-looking guy hits on you in the exact same way, you tell people you 'met someone last night.' Guys are much simpler. We bring our desperate friend to take the grenade for us (AKA the D.U.F.F.) so we can enjoy our night.